“This is an impossibly contradictory place: you can’t be in it, and you can’t be out of it” (1995, 34)
This is a place where we’re always becoming, but never fully being. Without even trying to be, there’s already a currently fixed assumption that you are what you are supposed to be. We can never fully be, because needing to tell someone that we are what we are makes it a continuous process of stepping in and out of this confined space. But for others who are already what they are presumed to be, it may seem that they then have the liberty of expression but they don’t because the rigidity of assumptions causes one to easily fall out of that mold.
People assume wrong things about me and I cannot tell them that they are wrong. When I tell them the right thing, they take it as a secret they had earned.