We make excuses for everything. But when you’re out of ideas or when you feel that idea and fact becomes more disparate, you make less excuses. However, hopefully you’d also notice some things that you probably would refuse to notice then. I think the greatest blow comes when you realise that you’re not yet cut out or ready to accept all that load you have, in your mind, heaped upon yourself. You think it’s selfless and that this selflessness transcends all other reasons and unknowns. But all you think of is yourself. I have a lot of difficulty articulating what I really mean to say. And what’s worse is that I don’t even know what I mean to say. But I have my safe space that I sometimes overlook. And when I look at it now, I recognize my idiocy for looking everywhere else. Oh terrible minds- we always want what we don’t have.